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Thread: need advice here. ppl accuse me of doing smth i din do

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    bluesurfer
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    Default need advice here. ppl accuse me of doing smth i din do



    hi,

    i really in a deep **** now. i am a RP by vocation. and ytd, one lady staff in my camp complained that we pass a remark "ta bi ku lai le"(Big butt is coming) and its directed to her while we are on duty. why we kena was because, she stated the time and day and gate she came in from and my friend and i was on duty at the said time.


    she is belonging to one unit and she complain upwards to her CO and her CO complain to our unit CO and their CO wants the names of the duty personnel.

    the fact was that my friend and i who was on duty did not pass those remark. neither did we remember someone who pass that remark.

    my pc and oc called us down for qsn-ing and told us the seriousness of this accusation it might cause us. that we might be charged for sexual harressment. i will be called down in a few days time for the lady to do an identification on us. but clearly, if she is able to recongise us, I feel that it could only prove that we are on duty at that point of time.


    from what we understand, its just her word against us and she has no witness to testify for her.

    what are our odds this coming identification process? my pc even told us that we might have to stand for summary trials if that lady decides to pull stunts on us. HELP!
    class 2B : 27 November 2007
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    Bro,be honest....did you say it since only you and friend were on duty as she claim?
    When the game is over, the king and the pawn go into the same box. -Italian Proverb


     

     
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    if u n ur fren din say it, it cud be the ones before u were on duty.. check out wad time was it when she pass by ur gate..? btw which camp are u from..?
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    ok here's what. she actually stated a time frame and clearly at that time, we are on duty. the fact that we din say it makes us feel even more wrongly accused.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andox View Post
    Bro,be honest....did you say it since only you and friend were on duty as she claim?
    the fact that she actually here the exact word and she is about say 50m away? makes me wonder if those remark were coming from us. cos at that time, there is a lot of ppl walking in so it really could be anyone.
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    johjoh
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluesurfer View Post
    the fact that she actually here the exact word and she is about say 50m away? makes me wonder if those remark were coming from us. cos at that time, there is a lot of ppl walking in so it really could be anyone.
    the fact that u also saw her coming in means she probably going to identify you and ur friend for sure. but since u r innocent, standby ur statement and use the reason u stated "there is a lot of ppl walking in so it really could be anyone". Do not be afraid if u really din say it.

    Godspeed.

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    its words against ur words.. if only she dun have a fat butt.. people wudnt talk bout it rite.. hahahahaa!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by nazz_rossi46 View Post
    its words against ur words.. if only she dun have a fat butt.. people wudnt talk bout it rite.. hahahahaa!!!
    hahaha, u made my day man. wonder if ppl say she pretty will she go complain anot..

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    what can they do sia.. no proof also.

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    the jialat part is that there may be a possible charge of sexual harressment sia! after hearing that i was like
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    one more thing I wanna use to fight my case is "ta bi ku lai le" everybody noe that it means more like someone approaching u rather than walk away from u. but from her side of story, its after she walked away from us that she hear that remarkss. so its really she take that remark to herself rather than its being directed at her.
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    Quote Originally Posted by johjoh View Post
    the fact that u also saw her coming in means she probably going to identify you and ur friend for sure. but since u r innocent, standby ur statement and use the reason u stated "there is a lot of ppl walking in so it really could be anyone". Do not be afraid if u really din say it.

    Godspeed.
    we cfm will see her walk into the gate. but at this point, i still don noe who the heck is that woman lo
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    johjoh
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    another reason is she noe her butt is big and she did hear many ppl sae that behind her bk. so sub-conciously...she can "hear" ppl say her big butt. just joking la.

    but TS, like i said, if u din say it, be brave to stand up for ur right. dun care whether she high rank or her CO, ur CO..whateva crap superior. Godspeed.

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    Just be polite, but if you didn't do it, say you did not.

    Never be rude while putting your points across, because unfortunately if it comes down to only your words against hers, you will most likely lose out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Silverelf View Post
    Just be polite, but if you didn't do it, say you did not.

    Never be rude while putting your points across, because unfortunately if it comes down to only your words against hers, you will most likely lose out.
    why will we most likely lose out? izit cos we are nsf?
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluesurfer View Post
    why will we most likely lose out? izit cos we are nsf?
    bcos spore law favour the ladies

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    just defend yourself if you did not say.. your defending points are very valid since she is walking away, you and your friend wouldnt have said that she's coming..

    Never mention the sentence again in court if things get serious.. just defend on the point above..

    and if you can prove that she's mentally unstable.. some ppl had subconciously developing thoughts that was not known to them..

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    Quote Originally Posted by who_noe View Post
    bcos spore law favour the ladies
    yeah ^ something like that.

    knn she so bo liao ah.. life too free?

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    johjoh
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fried Rice View Post
    yeah ^ something like that.

    knn she so bo liao ah.. life too free?
    cfm life too free..sit in office until butt big big.

    there are so many ppl kana name-calling every minute. but life moves on. its not like she is the first lady..

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    knn la Chee Bye farg NS crap.
    tell your CO farg la. Please la. SAF Ladies if cannot tahan this kinna comment then go elsewhere and work.
    Nin nah bei. Ask your CO directly.
    "CO Sir, You see for yourself. Knn is her butt big or not?"
    "Big rite?"
    "THEN???"
    "Knn you see enemy coming is it you say enemy coming?"
    "You want me to tell lies ah?"
    "Like that call sexual harassment"
    "Knn i now CARASS her ah. Sexual CARASSMENT la Charge me....."
    "Knn how you wanna charge? HSBC POSB DBS or OCBC credit?"
    "FARGGGGGGG YOU"

    And seriously SLAP the b!tch for me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fried Rice View Post
    yeah ^ something like that.

    knn she so bo liao ah.. life too free?
    haha! like some of my ord-ed friends said "ppl are dxo for a reason. they are just dumb and stupid!"

    Quote Originally Posted by biting_point View Post
    just defend yourself if you did not say.. your defending points are very valid since she is walking away, you and your friend wouldnt have said that she's coming..

    Never mention the sentence again in court if things get serious.. just defend on the point above..

    and if you can prove that she's mentally unstable.. some ppl had subconciously developing thoughts that was not known to them..

    as in what sentence? the big butt sentence? if don mention that sentence, then how to defend on the above point?



    or later today will be the time i noe what my fate is. hope all things goes well and smooth.
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    haha! maybe its a good news but i don have any calls from oc regarding this issue. hmmm... maybe when the woman was told to do an identification, she just freak out or smth.
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluesurfer View Post
    haha! maybe its a good news but i don have any calls from oc regarding this issue. hmmm... maybe when the woman was told to do an identification, she just freak out or smth.
    glad to hear that. hopefully its over.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bluesurfer View Post
    haha! maybe its a good news but i don have any calls from oc regarding this issue. hmmm... maybe when the woman was told to do an identification, she just freak out or smth.
    Glad and hope its good news. One thing in mind. Dun be afraid of anything when you are in NS. Fight for your rights. Learn now than after you go out to the man eats man world which is worst.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bernardk View Post
    Glad and hope its good news. One thing in mind. Dun be afraid of anything when you are in NS. Fight for your rights. Learn now than after you go out to the man eats man world which is worst.
    totally agree. initially when i first heard of this case i was totally black out. donno what is going on. after looking to many ppl for advice and u noe where u stand, ya! just say what i tink is right and nt wavier. haha! thanks guys. i too hope it will start abruptly but ends of smoothly. 2.5 more mths to ord aniway. haha!
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluesurfer View Post
    why will we most likely lose out? izit cos we are nsf?
    Quote Originally Posted by who_noe View Post
    bcos spore law favour the ladies
    Although I wouldn't really like to admit it, but yup. A guy's word vs a girl's word in such situations... especially in the military is usually not in the guy's favour. Nothing to do with being NSF or not.

    Of course if there is no evidence to prove that the guy is at fault at all (which I think your case is) then should be no problem lah... but if it is really you say she say... then really hard to say lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bernardk View Post
    knn la Chee Bye farg NS crap.
    tell your CO farg la. Please la. SAF Ladies if cannot tahan this kinna comment then go elsewhere and work.
    Nin nah bei. Ask your CO directly.
    "CO Sir, You see for yourself. Knn is her butt big or not?"
    "Big rite?"
    "THEN???"
    "Knn you see enemy coming is it you say enemy coming?"
    "You want me to tell lies ah?"
    "Like that call sexual harassment"
    "Knn i now CARASS her ah. Sexual CARASSMENT la Charge me....."
    "Knn how you wanna charge? HSBC POSB DBS or OCBC credit?"
    "FARGGGGGGG YOU"

    And seriously SLAP the b!tch for me.
    This will definitely put him in DB. No questions asked.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bluesurfer View Post
    totally agree. initially when i first heard of this case i was totally black out. donno what is going on. after looking to many ppl for advice and u noe where u stand, ya! just say what i tink is right and nt wavier. haha! thanks guys. i too hope it will start abruptly but ends of smoothly. 2.5 more mths to ord aniway. haha!
    2.5 more months yea no one wish to kana anything at this point of time. Yea we were all blurr when we were young.

    You will still have your share of blurrness when you come out to the working society. Brace yourself and dun believe in BULLCRAP! A little too naive or gullible and you will be CONSUMED....

    Even on the road. can still remember my first accident and first TP stop. Scared like sh!t. But now i give ppl sh!t. We have alot of first time. But is up to you to make it the last time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverelf View Post
    This will definitely put him in DB. No questions asked.
    Nvm la go in DB see see look look lor. Haha... I dun think he will be that stupid to try la. But he gets wat i mean.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Silverelf View Post
    Although I wouldn't really like to admit it, but yup. A guy's word vs a girl's word in such situations... especially in the military is usually not in the guy's favour. Nothing to do with being NSF or not.

    Of course if there is no evidence to prove that the guy is at fault at all (which I think your case is) then should be no problem lah... but if it is really you say she say... then really hard to say lol.
    that really sux then. imagine u argue with a woman in camp. only u and your partner and she say u wanna f*** her and she file a case on u. stupid right?
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    looks like case not closed yet. today my spec went ard asking for ic number to retrieve photo for identification. hmm...
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluesurfer View Post
    looks like case not closed yet. today my spec went ard asking for ic number to retrieve photo for identification. hmm...
    I think she scared to POINT at the fellow. But the stupid think is that you all knw that is her. So wats the point for them to do that i dun understand? dumb arses...

     

     
  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluesurfer View Post
    that really sux then. imagine u argue with a woman in camp. only u and your partner and she say u wanna f*** her and she file a case on u. stupid right?
    Actions and intentions have different meaning.

    And for heavens sake.....people with big butt is so common. I am one of them. So whats her issue?

    Fat, can diet, ugly can do cosmetic surgery, stupidity so far.....brain surgery cannot solve.
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    donno la! its been 1 week since the case was brought up. now they intend to use photo instead. donno what is running thru their minds. i also feel like as if getting mind f*** but them sia!
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    Quote Originally Posted by ViciousKitty74 View Post
    Actions and intentions have different meaning.

    And for heavens sake.....people with big butt is so common. I am one of them. So whats her issue?

    Fat, can diet, ugly can do cosmetic surgery, stupidity so far.....brain surgery cannot solve.
    ya totally agree. i don noe if she got any "witness" to testify for her anot sia! if she realy found one then i feel that chances are not very good towards me. crap la! ord in 2.5mths and sh!t happens now
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    Quote Originally Posted by ViciousKitty74 View Post
    Actions and intentions have different meaning.

    And for heavens sake.....people with big butt is so common. I am one of them. So whats her issue?

    Fat, can diet, ugly can do cosmetic surgery, stupidity so far.....brain surgery cannot solve.
    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh HAHAHAHAHA

    Quote Originally Posted by bluesurfer View Post
    ya totally agree. i don noe if she got any "witness" to testify for her anot sia! if she realy found one then i feel that chances are not very good towards me. crap la! ord in 2.5mths and sh!t happens now
    2.5 mths nia. Drag lor Hahaha.

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    if really drag till i ord donno if oc will sign my clearance ma? wa if really must drag then my 2.5 mths to ord will be tough man!
    class 2B : 27 November 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by bluesurfer View Post
    that really sux then. imagine u argue with a woman in camp. only u and your partner and she say u wanna f*** her and she file a case on u. stupid right?
    Well, bobian. There are guys who try to be funny and well, there are girls who take advantage of the 'protective measures' given to us because of guys who try to be funny.

    That's how it is, and both guys and girls just have to learn to protect themselves. That's why guys who have a professional reason to be in a space alone with a girl always have to be careful. Might just lose the job due to a misunderstanding!

    Anyway, I think that as long as you did not do it and your conscience is clear, it should be ok. What else are the gonna do? Record all the suspected peoples voices saying that sentence so she can identify the voice meh?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ViciousKitty74 View Post
    Actions and intentions have different meaning.

    And for heavens sake.....people with big butt is so common. I am one of them. So whats her issue?

    Fat, can diet, ugly can do cosmetic surgery, stupidity so far.....brain surgery cannot solve.
    I agree with you on all points. That last line, I have told my friend before!!

    I'm also big bum, what to do? Lazy to exercise but like to eat and I don't even eat veggies lol. It's a fact. Just gotta face the facts that are laid on the table.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Silverelf View Post
    Well, bobian. There are guys who try to be funny and well, there are girls who take advantage of the 'protective measures' given to us because of guys who try to be funny.

    That's how it is, and both guys and girls just have to learn to protect themselves. That's why guys who have a professional reason to be in a space alone with a girl always have to be careful. Might just lose the job due to a misunderstanding!

    Anyway, I think that as long as you did not do it and your conscience is clear, it should be ok. What else are the gonna do? Record all the suspected peoples voices saying that sentence so she can identify the voice meh?
    the voice part is suggested by my commanders as well. can u believe how stupid that is? i guess the next update will be the deciding factor.
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    the start of the new week. hopefully nth will happen. praying really hard. gonna ord real real soon so hopefully everything will end well and nice this week.
    class 2B : 27 November 2007
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    "Change is a decision u make and not a thought in your mind"

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    Quote Originally Posted by bluesurfer View Post
    if really drag till i ord donno if oc will sign my clearance ma? wa if really must drag then my 2.5 mths to ord will be tough man!
    he will still have to clear you on the very last day. cannot be he dun clear u and keep you after your ORD date. Dun worry so much la.

     

     
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    my friend was telling me that he could not hold u when u ord. but the pending case will be treated as a civil case? wa that seems like dam big thing lei. but if they want even if ord they can still get u back to settle the case right?
    class 2B : 27 November 2007
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    Yes, after u ORD they can still get u back to settle the case, don forget NSMEN also can go DB.

    Now ur case,

    Seem u n ur friend are standing watch there as many pple walking into the camp tat morning, so without any prove or witness, ur CO cannot put the blame on u guys, so don worry.

    If they punish u or ur friend without any prove, very simple... later seek Proper channel for justice...... its nothing wrong n they cant punish u guys if u guys go on proper channel.

    Proper channel if u don know how to is simple ....

    See ur PC 1st , then request see ur CO.
    After seeing ur CO, request see MP
    actually See MP is the best way and remember go together with ur Parents

    Hope it works n helps if u n ur friend really didnt do it...
    Riding a Slow Slow Lao K =.="""

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    Quote Originally Posted by GSR^00^ View Post
    Yes, after u ORD they can still get u back to settle the case, don forget NSMEN also can go DB.

    Now ur case,

    Seem u n ur friend are standing watch there as many pple walking into the camp tat morning, so without any prove or witness, ur CO cannot put the blame on u guys, so don worry.

    If they punish u or ur friend without any prove, very simple... later seek Proper channel for justice...... its nothing wrong n they cant punish u guys if u guys go on proper channel.

    Proper channel if u don know how to is simple ....

    See ur PC 1st , then request see ur CO.
    After seeing ur CO, request see MP
    actually See MP is the best way and remember go together with ur Parents

    Hope it works n helps if u n ur friend really didnt do it...
    i told my dad about it. he say if the woman really able to point me out during the ID thingy, and CO or OC charged me, he will charge str8 to MP.
    class 2B : 27 November 2007
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    "Change is a decision u make and not a thought in your mind"

    " there can only be transformation when you have change your thoughts"

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    Quote Originally Posted by bluesurfer View Post
    i told my dad about it. he say if the woman really able to point me out during the ID thingy, and CO or OC charged me, he will charge str8 to MP.
    Tats good, at least keep ur family members know this case, pass ur father ur camp number n location so tat anything he can talk to ur CO in charge.

    Don worry 2 much, from my point of view, they cant do anything to u guys.
    Riding a Slow Slow Lao K =.="""

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    Quote Originally Posted by GSR^00^ View Post
    Tats good, at least keep ur family members know this case, pass ur father ur camp number n location so tat anything he can talk to ur CO in charge.

    Don worry 2 much, from my point of view, they cant do anything to u guys.
    yea ask your parent to talk to CO. Now the NS regulars very scared of parents. hahaha....

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    I'm pleased to hear the TS is getting good advise from everyone here. Let me share an alternative point of view.

    I don't have a good upbringing and usually end up being the laughing stock because people think me being polite to everyone (ala Victorian culture ) is a weakness . Being a guy I don't have access to others' understanding and for that reason I became rather antisocial throughout my teenage life.

    Cutting to the chase, it IS possible for the human brain, because of bad experiences with OTHER PEOPLE, to mislabel others' words and intentions as personal attacks against oneself even without provocation. The mind replays over and over certain bad experiences from days, weeks, even years ago and causes stereotyping.

    It's like seeing a noisy Spark or RXZ on the road and people think "boy racer" and drive offensively against them before they actually evaluate the rider!

    It is not important that (in this case) the actual comments were nonexistent. What's important is that the "plaintiff", to use a legal term here, is making a claim based on HER own perceptions.

    What you can do, if they don't let you off is sit down with whomever is in charge and emphatise with the plaintiff. It's NORMAL for young gentlemen like yourself to make remarks on the opposite gender. It's also normal for a lady to feel threatened by such especially if she is single and unable to manage the emotional stresses (refer to my personal example above).

    Tell that whomever top dog that you understand where she's coming from and that you have NO INTENTION of tarnishing the good name of the SAF by insulting our own servicewomen!

    Use logic..... just say, after all I have a girlfriend that waits for me every single day I'm in camp! Why the heck do I want to comment on her backside, I'm not even interested!

    Why I propose this is as such - normal argument you will lose. One side casting blame and the defendant avoiding responsibility will not solve anything.

    Now you do a flanking attack and instead sympathise with the plaintiff. You are helping the authorities and herself solve the case by removing her casus belli against you because you are definitely not her enemy, since the soldier's duty is to protect his own country and her citizens!

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    ir ur CO and the big butt lady's CO consider themselves true profesionals, worthy of being called Singapore's military leaders, they should come forward n interview u guys personally n find out the truth instead of believing every single word coming out of that lady's mouth.she may be the staff but the CO's not doing his unit nor the Army any gd by accusing u guys blindly without going thru the proper investigation procedures.same goes to your OC.he shld be safeguarding your interests n do whatever it takes to prevent u guys from being charged n subsequently jailed.
    Do not trouble trouble unless trouble troubles you

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    actually as of now, no other update yet cos my oc who is the IO is on course. rumours is that the woman actually complain all the way to mindef! i mean wtf? u have no witness to your testimonies and u actually blow up the matter by complaining up to mindef? we will see how it goes when my oc is back lo.
    class 2B : 27 November 2007
    class 2A : 21 April 2009
    class 2 : 21 October 2010
    class 3 : 21 August 2007



    "Change is a decision u make and not a thought in your mind"

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    Quote Originally Posted by bluesurfer View Post
    actually as of now, no other update yet cos my oc who is the IO is on course. rumours is that the woman actually complain all the way to mindef! i mean wtf? u have no witness to your testimonies and u actually blow up the matter by complaining up to mindef? we will see how it goes when my oc is back lo.
    diff ppl have different characters, so its not surprising to have ppl who made complaining a part of their routine.

    like i said in my earlier posts, do not ever be afraid if u did not do it. state ur case calmly. and as mentioned by fellow bros, ur co and oc are military leaders. they are supposed to handle the case with absolute neutrality. if they insist u do it, there's always other channels to bring up ur case. Never succumb to injustice done to you.

    wish u all the best, bro.

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