Esr (2005-2007)

[draught]

Heaven or Hell

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human resources

Manager was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in

Heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

 

"Welcome," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in, though, it seems we

have a problem.

You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager

make it this far, and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No worries, just let me in," said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is

let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose

whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said

the woman.

"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in a

lift and it went down-down-down to Hell.

 

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green

of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and in

front of her were all her fellow executive friends that she had worked

with, and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her.

They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times.

They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country

club where she enjoyed a superb steak and lobster dinner. She met the

Devil who was actually a really nice guy and she had a great time telling

jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew

it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as

she got on the lift.

 

The lift went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found

St.Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.

So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the

harp and singing.

She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and

St.Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in Hell and you've spent a day in Heaven. Now you

must choose your eternity".

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I

would say this. I mean, Heaven has been really great, but I had a better

time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the lift and again she went down-down-down

back to Hell.

 

When the doors of the lift opened she found herself standing in a desolate

wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw that her friends were

dressed in rags and picking up garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil

came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there

was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and

had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland and all my friends look

miserable."

The Devil looked at her and smiled. "Yesterday we were recruiting you,

today you're staff..."

 

 

 

The moral of this story:

Never believe what you see in the company or what they promised you. It

always turns out to be ****.

 

Think we can verified with chao regarding this

[draught]

Funny Things About Singaporeans

 

============================

 

4. At lunch, you start discussing what to eat for dinner.

 

23. You'll gladly spend $50,000 on a car, but will go to great

lengths to save a few bucks on ERP charges or even a few cents on a

parking

coupon.

 

24. If you're pregnant, you have the strange ability to make people

on the MRT fall asleep instantly.

 

31. You 'chope' a seat by placing a packet of tissues on the chair.

 

 

Cant agree more, esp no.24

[spyker]

yawnzzz...... morning esr..... juz wokeup nia.....shiok weather siah.....

[whisperer]

Funny Things About Singaporeans

 

============================

 

1. Thanks to SMS, you have an extra large thumb.

then can get better results when we hitch-hike

 

2. Tks 2 SMS, u oso dun no how 2 spel anymor.

alot of people dunno how to spell in the first place. sms jus covers up for them!

 

3. You pat bus seats and even MRT seats to cool them before you sit

down.

eh, can try patting angry people on the head to cool them down?

 

4. At lunch, you start discussing what to eat for dinner.

Anyone wanna have supper later?

 

5. Your wedding photos include shots of you dressed up like Louis

XIV

That's to remind u how good u looked BEFORE u got married

 

6. You won't raise your voice to protest policies, but you'll raise

your fists to whack someone over Hello Kitty.

no lah, wun raise fists one... WHO"S THAT BUGGER TOUCHING MY HAYA!!!

 

7. You're forever talking about businesses you want

to set up but will probably never get around to starting.

cuz by the time u plan to set up, there's prob tons of other people who set up the same business before u

 

8. You don't know 3/4 of the people attending your wedding.

most times, i know the menu better than the wedding couple

 

9. You separate food into 2 basic groups: 'heaty' and 'cooling'.

i usually go for the unhealthy food =D

 

10. You think that what makes you 'married' is not

the legal registration but whether you've thrown a 12 course

dinner.

and hope u make enough from ang baos to cover the costs

 

11. You marry for the real estate breaks.

register first, then wait for THE KEY

 

12. You have kids for the tax advantages.

but end up spending more for their tuition fees, PSPs and 3G phones when they enter PRIMARY school...

 

13. You move to where you want your child to go to school.

got haya, no need to move lah

 

14. You force your children to take Speech & Drama classes, but

Pray they won't wind up in Arts later on.

and ballet and violin and piano, but you think musicians don't have much future

 

wah shack... got 19 more to go, forget it...

[Allan82]

I CBL today,later at nite gt any tiu sms me !!!

[spyker]

might haf dinner tiuz.... alot ppl CBL today.....some "keng" MC ....some off....depends on weather.....

[Royston46]

might haf dinner tiuz.... alot ppl CBL today.....some "keng" MC ....some off....depends on weather.....

 

Jio me too...

 

I am free after 7plus...

 

Busy like fcuk today...

 

[whisperer]

go somewhere that's easy to go by bus ok? best is everyone come down to amk! haha... my house the western food chiken cutlet very good, $4 nia!

[spyker]

go somewhere that's easy to go by bus ok? best is everyone come down to amk! haha... my house the western food chiken cutlet very good, $4 nia!

 

y not come bedok?? my hse here the chicken cutlet also very good!! wahaha

[spyker]

rain rain go away...................................................................................................................................................................................

[Royston46]

rain rain go away...................................................................................................................................................................................

 

Fierce birdie afraid of rain...

 

Kekeke!!!

 

 

Ah Pek car afraid of jam...

 

[Allan82]

come ubi here better !!! wat also nice to eat !!

[Allan82]

go somewhere that's easy to go by bus ok? best is everyone come down to amk! haha... my house the western food chiken cutlet very good, $4 nia!

 

if need to i can go pillion u

[Bluesky]

Cant agree more, esp no.24

 

Not only At lunch, you start discussing what to eat for dinner.... U could even discuss where to eat next month.. or where to go 6 mths later

[whisperer]

y not come bedok?? my hse here the chicken cutlet also very good!! wahaha

 

no bike leh... go there come back 3 hours gone! plus makan, 4 hours!

[UnIoNbIkEz]

y not come bedok?? my hse here the chicken cutlet also very good!! wahaha

 

Ya AGREE~!?!!

[whisperer]

Fierce birdie afraid of rain...

 

Kekeke!!!

 

 

Ah Pek car afraid of jam...

 

 

cuz no matter how fierce the bird, kena rain become wet bird bird!

 

and no matter yours is a ah pek car, sports car, or a luxury car, once caught in a jam, all are stationary cars!

[Royston46]

Skies is clear now, according to forecast...

 

But road is still wet, pls ride safe all...

 

Simi tiuz let me know...

 

[whisperer]

Ya AGREE~!?!!

 

eh bro, ur x9 still around? borrow for time being leh, hee...

[whisperer]

Skies is clear now, according to forecast...

 

But road is still wet, pls ride safe all...

 

Simi tiuz let me know...

 

 

got tiuz, makan at kpt near whisperer's place, wanna come?

[UnIoNbIkEz]

eh bro, ur x9 still around? borrow for time being leh, hee...

 

my X9?? Still arnd lah after i sold it to bike shop & they dunno sell it to who... If u wanna can try look 4 it

[whisperer]

my X9?? Still arnd lah after i sold it to bike shop & they dunno sell it to who... If u wanna can try look 4 it

 

sell already not consider around liaoz leh, haha...

[Arch]

So any programs later on?

[Allan82]

going to have dinner at levander food court nw wif the rest....any1 wanna join can cal me (97456578)

[ZzGaNgStErzZ]

Morning guys.