Esr (2005-2007)

[Angelsown]

The 4th Affair:

 

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the

front door.

"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."

"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so

much I got one for us, too."

 

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a

sandwich and a beer.

"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at

the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."

[ZzGaNgStErzZ]

Bet u dunno whats so exciting about working right?

 

So u have to work more.. the more u work the more u know, the more u know the more u wan to work!

 

 

o_O coz its not exciting mah.

[Angelsown]

The 5th Affair:

 

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."

"One Cent?" the man thought.

He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a

bottle of wine?"

"A nickel," the barman replied.

 

"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replied, "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."

[ZzGaNgStErzZ]

The 4th Affair:

 

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the

front door.

"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."

"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so

much I got one for us, too."

 

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a

sandwich and a beer.

"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at

the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."

 

ah.... ah..... ah...... chooo......... oso cold lei. but tis one more funny.

[Angelsown]

The 6th Affair:

 

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."

"There's no need to," his wife replied.

"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your

>best friend, her best friend

"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."

[Angelsown]

haha ok la only got 6 affairs so far...you guys know of more affairs can add on hehe

[ZzGaNgStErzZ]

The 5th Affair:

 

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."

"One Cent?" the man thought.

He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a

bottle of wine?"

"A nickel," the barman replied.

 

"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replied, "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."

 

wad is the ting? fxxking his business? making out his business?

[Angelsown]

Funny truths about life in small Singapore....

 

1. Nite - Sleep with air-con; Day - Bathe with heater on

2. Day - Cannot Wake up; Nite - Cannot Sleep

3. Translation is needed between Singaporean Chinese and Mainland Chinese

4. Smell Of rubbish besides letterboxes; Rubbish inside Letterbox

5. Spore Chinese use different languages other then Chinese to communicate.

6. Sporean never like to vote, but like to complain

7. There are quite a number of rich/poor in spore - They have Car,

Credit Card, CPF but no Cash and is liable to lots of loans

9. There are quite a few high-tech barbaric singaporeans -they know how

to use state-of-the art equipment, 3g mobile phone and powerful

computers but they dunno how to use a simple dustbin or a toilet

10. Half Sporeans rushed to buy Hello kitty, but the other half busy

killing stray cats

11. Chewing Gum - Can Chew, Cannot buy

12. Cigarettes - Convenient to buy; not convenient to smoke

13. Private Cars - Cheaper and Cheaper to buy, harder and harder to

Maintain

14. Public Bus - Half the Crowd squeeze in front section of the Bus,

Second section is for Carrying Ghost

15. Education - Teachers teaching Less but expects students to learn

More

16. Salary - Do less less get high high but Do more more get less less.

17. Promotion - Carry more more no need to work = promotion every year,

Do more more don't know how to carry, work until u die also no

promotion.

[Angelsown]

wad is the ting? fxxking his business? making out his business?

 

his boss fcuk his wife so he fcuk the boss business lor haha

[Bluesky]

o_O coz its not exciting mah.

 

 

 

Cos u nv work hard enough mah

[Bluesky]

wad is the ting? fxxking his business? making out his business?

 

Screwing up his business..

[Bluesky]

haha ok la only got 6 affairs so far...you guys know of more affairs can add on hehe

 

7th Affair:

 

Angelsown suspects Devilsown of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of Spyker. Well, Angelsown is really angry. She opens her bag to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. Devilsown yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" Angelsown replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

[Bluesky]

Funny truths about life in small Singapore....

 

1. Nite - Sleep with air-con; Day - Bathe with heater on

2. Day - Cannot Wake up; Nite - Cannot Sleep

3. Translation is needed between Singaporean Chinese and Mainland Chinese

4. Smell Of rubbish besides letterboxes; Rubbish inside Letterbox

5. Spore Chinese use different languages other then Chinese to communicate.

6. Sporean never like to vote, but like to complain

7. There are quite a number of rich/poor in spore - They have Car,

Credit Card, CPF but no Cash and is liable to lots of loans

9. There are quite a few high-tech barbaric singaporeans -they know how

to use state-of-the art equipment, 3g mobile phone and powerful

computers but they dunno how to use a simple dustbin or a toilet

10. Half Sporeans rushed to buy Hello kitty, but the other half busy

killing stray cats

11. Chewing Gum - Can Chew, Cannot buy

12. Cigarettes - Convenient to buy; not convenient to smoke

13. Private Cars - Cheaper and Cheaper to buy, harder and harder to

Maintain

14. Public Bus - Half the Crowd squeeze in front section of the Bus,

Second section is for Carrying Ghost

15. Education - Teachers teaching Less but expects students to learn

More

16. Salary - Do less less get high high but Do more more get less less.

17. Promotion - Carry more more no need to work = promotion every year,

Do more more don't know how to carry, work until u die also no

promotion.

 

 

 

Fooking Agreed!!

[whisk]

haha ok la only got 6 affairs so far...you guys know of more affairs can add on hehe

 

eh... y not let devilsown share his experiences hahaha

[Angelsown]

 

7th Affair:

 

Angelsown suspects Devilsown of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of Spyker. Well, Angelsown is really angry. She opens her bag to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. Devilsown yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" Angelsown replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

 

wah i got so stupid meh?

[Angelsown]

eh... y not let devilsown share his experiences hahaha

 

can use the gun i bought in affair no 7 to you? hehe

[sfazruzs]

Good Afternoon!

 

Happy Working people!!

[ZzGaNgStErzZ]

 

7th Affair:

 

Angelsown suspects Devilsown of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of Spyker. Well, Angelsown is really angry. She opens her bag to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. Devilsown yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" Angelsown replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

 

wah i got so stupid meh?

 

so many affairs tis is the best liao.

[ZzGaNgStErzZ]

can use the gun i bought in affair no 7 to you? hehe

 

cannot. coz u shoot urself liao.

[whisk]

can use the gun i bought in affair no 7 to you? hehe

 

haha.. of coz u may not la...

 

hahaha

no need ask 1

[ShnHwA-]

 

7th Affair:

 

Angelsown suspects Devilsown of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of Spyker. Well, Angelsown is really angry. She opens her bag to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. Devilsown yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" Angelsown replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

 

hmmm..abit wrong lehz..should b

 

''she takes the gun and point it to spyker's head. Devilsown yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" Angelsown replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

 

like tat better rite? hahaha..shoot spyker!!!!!!!!! :gun:

[Angelsown]

cannot. coz u shoot urself liao.

 

:faint: :faint:

[Angelsown]

haha.. of coz u may not la...

 

hahaha

no need ask 1

 

ok i dun want to ask liao...why so polite with you...i will just you and your hahabusa

[Angelsown]

hmmm..abit wrong lehz..should b

 

''she takes the gun and point it to spyker's head. Devilsown yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" Angelsown replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

 

like tat better rite? hahaha..shoot spyker!!!!!!!!! :gun:

 

i tink kelvin prefer the original version... cant wait for me to die....i know...so he can have devils AND spyker all to himself....BBMs

[Manzz]

8th Affair

 

Spyker and Zen

 

9th Affair

 

chaochao and ArsenZ

 

10th Affair

 

Arch and Magnet

 

11th Affair

 

Royston and Anton

 

 

OKay boys and girls, the above are the characters for the next few stories. Please use your imagination, crank that brain, squeeze that creative juices and let the 'juices' flow to do a simple writeup till the 11th Affair with the given characters.

 

You are required to write between 80 to 100 words. Please submit by posting up in this thread. Closing date is Wednesday, 5th September 2007 12pm.

 

Prizes await for the top story of each Affair written. Prizes will be announced and presented on this Saturday, 8th September in commemoration with ESR's 2nd Anniversary.

 

So watcha waiting for? Write now!!