Spare The Rod & Spoil The Child?

[panclanrider]

Will you use the traditional ways of up bringing your children???

[gohjohan]

Oh yes. The cane will go wherever me and the children goes. Whether to church, restaurant, shopping, etc.... The cane follows.

 

People may think it's harsh, but when the lesson comes for them to learn, best to show it to them before it gets forgotten.

[redname]

i tink its a matter of letting the child know whether u r really firm bout it but yet it also seems to matter with how much the child can really understand when u say NO.

 

some children will tend to be able to stop when the parent use a firmer voice, some tends to need a little bit more than a firm voice. so it really matters whether the parent understands the child on wat works better. some children also will c who's the one scolding them, a firm NO from a particular might work but the same way might not when it comes from another person.

 

jus my $0.02 worth, i aren't a parent, not even married yet but i kind of notice tis cause of my nephew, veri naughty lah

[devoted]

yap~ nowadays children are real naughty and terribly smart~

 

is reli a challenge to bring them up and they required more attention/guidance compare to children in the past generations~

 

for me, actually silent works the best, rather shouting and etc~ (in a classroom setting)

 

yap~

silent, long firm silent and with my that authoritive & piercing look till i get the attention of the child, then i will talk reason~

or else, is reli one ear in, the other ear out~

waste my saliva and effort~

 

heehee~

last time my sunday skool kids reli scare till by the way i 'gin' at them~

[jazzyme]

aye ur voting system abit haywire har?

[gohjohan]

Just to add, the punishment must suit the crime.

 

For example, if they are fighting over a toy, I'll take it away for a week so that they will learn that what was given to them can be taken from them. With that one week period, they can think over the wrong that they've done and learn to share when I return the toy. No need to use the cane for this one

 

When they learn the meaning of "NO" and still commit the offence, then yes, use the cane, but 1st have to explain why they must be caned. It will take patience to explain, but this will reinforce your stand on the offence and they won't forget hopefully by the 3rd time.

 

Also don't bribe them. Otherwise they will expect a reward everytime they do something good.

[wait4me]

whack and wahck

[devoted]

Originally posted by gohjohan@Apr 4 2006, 10:37 AM

For example, if they are fighting over a toy, I'll take it away for a week so that they will learn that what was given to them can be taken from them. With that one week period, they can think over the wrong that they've done and learn to share when I return the toy. No need to use the cane for this one

one week? i tell you, bro johan~ even u cane them now abt the toy, the next minute they will forgotten why they are being cane~

 

children reli reli got short-term memory, and due to their comprehension and etc they dun reli able to register the meaning/morale of the lesson~ those youngers ones~ and well, do apply to older ones too~

 

so,

that is why children will reli test the patient and limits of oneself~

[seeprompt]

Parents should learn to exercise discipline on themselves and their children. Discipline is one of the most fundamentals for maturity. True maturity is really the ability to differentiate right from wrong and the discipline to choose correctly.

 

Children are actually a reflection of their parents. So if their parents are slackers, you can expect them to grow up as slackers too.

 

Unfortunately it is ever increasingly common to witness values such as material wealth, instant self gratification and selfish desires displayed as virtues by parents to their children.

 

So after saying so much I need to comment that discipline by canning has been proven to be less effective as compared to the past. Consistency in displaying and imparting integrity, honesty, respect, self control and love would be a better way to raise up a model adult.

[invisiblman]

the rod grow old together with me. it watch me grow, i watch it old too.

[Guest ViciousKitty74]

Pretty angry right now.

 

Cos of how parents are teaching their children....especially on the other thread.

 

Did any of you ever believe that you should teach your child to accept punishment/beatings from those in the family or has a relatinship with?

[Guest ViciousKitty74]

I've seen child abuse cases and I am sure a lot of us have been reading about it.

 

These children are abused by people they know.

 

And these children didnt know enough, that they are not meant to be abused that way.

 

All they did know was that: Its a family, so it must be ok for it to happen, because they are adults/family/friends/someone they know.

[invisiblman]

yea i was bought up in the age of rob

[seeprompt]

Originally posted by ViciousKitty74@Apr 13 2006, 01:42 PM

Pretty angry right now.

 

Cos of how parents are teaching their children....especially on the other thread.

 

Did any of you ever believe that you should teach your child to accept punishment/beatings from those in the family or has a relatinship with?

Although I have not personally handled many child abuse cases, sadly I do find myself growing increasing less empathic to hear the same formula used by parents to excuse themselves from their responsibilities when it comes to discipline or nurturing for their children.

 

I can’t help but start to switch off when I hear the words like “No time lah!” or “Where got money!”

 

But there is one case that shook me to my core even till today. The following is a very brief summary according to the best of my memory.

 

There was this girl, aged 7. She was raped on a stay over in her uncle’s place by her cousins aged 9 and 10. They were inspired to do the act because they were watching pornographic VCD bought by the adults of that household. At first none of the parents couldn’t understand why the girl suddenly became very disclosed and reserved until about a month later when her neighbor, where she stayed over regularly when her parents were “not free”, heard her confession. They brought her to a specialist and found that it was true. Initially when the boys were confronted, they denied but when the evidences were submitted they too (finally) confessed. The boys subsequently got beaten to near death by their parents.

 

As I write these accounts, the images of the children’s faces comes to my mind. These kids have gone through so much even before puberty and the adults asked themselves in front of us, “What have I done to deserve this…”

 

Now I work as an engineer. I deal (mostly) only with machine and computers daily.

 

I’m ending my contributions to this thread here as I too am being overwhelmed with emotions.

[ellamcoy]

To understand how a child thinks is not juz a ABC kindda of thingy. U got to make them "accept" their mistake and the gravity of punishment they will be facing, in general kids are human too, they nego with u abt their punishment. Sound familiar doesn't is, esp when u juz got a ticket from TP. See we are all human. Nobody is a trained parent by nature. There is a book titled, One Minute Father...something like that.... this book is the first step to built a father-child or mother-child relationship in the long run. Do not underestimate the power of knowledge esp in the upbringing

[PartyAnimal]

I believe that if you caned your child he/she will be more rebellious when he/she grows up. I believe that talking to them nicely is a more appropriate way of teaching.

 

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[Guest ViciousKitty74]

Yes. But how much is too much.

 

I've attended to family dispute cases.

 

Where parents teaach their children, that their beatings are reasonable, because its family.

 

Would you teach your children to accept assaults by others against them as being a family dispute or to teach them to recognise what is abuse before its too late?

[Speedpass]

I do feel tat the current generation of children r too pampered & spoilt by their parents . My wife who teaches in the lower sec told me tat students nowadays r not very well disciplined . They can talk back to u & even challenge u to fights , etc . Even when the parents r summoned to talk abt their child's behaviour , some can even say they r busy wif work n tat its the job of the school should discipline their children .

 

N i do see many young ppl out there acting like they r gangster , spewing vulgarities , trying to act macho . Even the girls r doing it .

[DM]

spare the rod and spoil the child- the rod should only be administered when the child is beyond reason and control. i have seen many neighbours with children that run up and down screaming 24/7 while throwing toys around the corridor and destroying everything they see. such parents are simply f*ckedup. no discipline whatsoever for their kids and they would only punish them when they get on their parent's nerves. i wonder why such idiots are allowed to reproduce and pollute our society with more of their kind. on an occasion, one of their sons ran up to me with a chain and tried to hit me with it. i had a bad day at work and i was going to snap but he ran away after i glared at him.. thank god i didn't kill that little bas***d or something...