Tunang & Kahwin

[farish]

Have a question for engaged /married muslim bros.

 

How much did ur tunang / kahwin expenses added up? Need to start doing some planning.

[thrasher]

tunang can be simple n cheap. just exchange of ring only.. not much expenses just the ring... your wedding can be full blown all out

[farish]

tunang can be simple n cheap. just exchange of ring only.. not much expenses just the ring... your wedding can be full blown all out

 

yeah agree with you. that makes sense.

 

Anyone with good lobangs to share?

[4th_Espada]

tunang is not compulsory but if u want to hold one just do a small one between families like hers and urs only..

 

wedding wise u can do a combine wedding, i did that and all we spend in total is only 14k, 1000 guest..but for this is best to talk to the in laws first so u can have both parties to agree, tts what i did...

 

reason i did this is becoz i dont see a need to waste money on doing two sides and the prophet (not tt i'm lecturing, apologise) says in a hadeeth, “The best of marriage is that which is made easiest.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3300...

 

the purpose is to bond the 2 families not to separate them..with this u will cut the cost almost more than half of what most malay people would do.. dun be suck in by ppl saying, "oh this is once in a lifetime so do a grand one".. point them the middle finger then say sorry and tell them, Jodoh is at the hands of Allah not amount of money spent, they themselves cant guarantee what has been written for u...

[husher]

tunang is not compulsory but if u want to hold one just do a small one between families like hers and urs only..

 

wedding wise u can do a combine wedding, i did that and all we spend in total is only 14k, 1000 guest..but for this is best to talk to the in laws first so u can have both parties to agree, tts what i did...

 

reason i did this is becoz i dont see a need to waste money on doing two sides and the prophet (not tt i'm lecturing, apologise) says in a hadeeth, “The best of marriage is that which is made easiest.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3300...

 

the purpose is to bond the 2 families not to separate them..with this u will cut the cost almost more than half of what most malay people would do.. dun be suck in by ppl saying, "oh this is once in a lifetime so do a grand one".. point them the middle finger then say sorry and tell them, Jodoh is at the hands of Allah not amount of money spent, they themselves cant guarantee what has been written for u...

 

Superbly said bro!!

[4th_Espada]

Thanks man..i have actually seen many friends and ppl who are ignorant about this kind of things and the only thing tts keeping them single or broke is always money for the wedding but they never think that actually after the wedding they need to have money to maintain household, nafkah, vehicles if they have any and themself... and all this comes straight away after the wedding...

[QuoVadis]

tunang is not compulsory but if u want to hold one just do a small one between families like hers and urs only..

 

wedding wise u can do a combine wedding, i did that and all we spend in total is only 14k, 1000 guest..but for this is best to talk to the in laws first so u can have both parties to agree, tts what i did...

 

reason i did this is becoz i dont see a need to waste money on doing two sides and the prophet (not tt i'm lecturing, apologise) says in a hadeeth, “The best of marriage is that which is made easiest.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3300...

 

the purpose is to bond the 2 families not to separate them..with this u will cut the cost almost more than half of what most malay people would do.. dun be suck in by ppl saying, "oh this is once in a lifetime so do a grand one".. point them the middle finger then say sorry and tell them, Jodoh is at the hands of Allah not amount of money spent, they themselves cant guarantee what has been written for u...

 

 

VERY familiar. lol +1

[QuoVadis]

tunang can be simple n cheap. just exchange of ring only.. not much expenses just the ring... your wedding can be full blown all out

 

Cham bro. So when? lol

[4th_Espada]

must be the freaking yazid tau, is it?...

Edited August 17, 2010 by 4th_Espada

[ThePole]

nothing compares to the expenses AFTER the wedding.

[farish]

tunang is not compulsory but if u want to hold one just do a small one between families like hers and urs only..

 

wedding wise u can do a combine wedding, i did that and all we spend in total is only 14k, 1000 guest..but for this is best to talk to the in laws first so u can have both parties to agree, tts what i did...

 

reason i did this is becoz i dont see a need to waste money on doing two sides and the prophet (not tt i'm lecturing, apologise) says in a hadeeth, “The best of marriage is that which is made easiest.” Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3300...

 

the purpose is to bond the 2 families not to separate them..with this u will cut the cost almost more than half of what most malay people would do.. dun be suck in by ppl saying, "oh this is once in a lifetime so do a grand one".. point them the middle finger then say sorry and tell them, Jodoh is at the hands of Allah not amount of money spent, they themselves cant guarantee what has been written for u...

 

 

Well said bro. I agree with you. I was thinking of doing it combined too.. but cos she has 2 set of parents (divorced and remarried), i expect her guests for be quite alot. Minimumly 700 guests for her alone. Mine max also 500 . So i am thinking where to hold it for combined wedding.

 

Where did you have yours at bro?

[farish]

@ Bro 4th_espada,

 

Mind sharing what is the breakdown of the $14,000??

[FrdAuZ]

Emm good topic.. Economy also picking up..

 

Time to see more couples tie the knot..

Sometimes i wonder how is it after married.. Is it more easier cos income of a couple combined or is it harder..

[4th_Espada]

Well said bro. I agree with you. I was thinking of doing it combined too.. but cos she has 2 set of parents (divorced and remarried), i expect her guests for be quite alot. Minimumly 700 guests for her alone. Mine max also 500 . So i am thinking where to hold it for combined wedding.

 

Where did you have yours at bro?

 

i did mine at multi purpose hall near the place that i'm living so convenient wise to move up and down is there..for guest try to invite ppl who are close or dear to u, just an option aje...and perhaps u can extend the waleemah timing if ur inviting more than 1k ppl..like from 12nn to 8pm ke..mine for 1k alone is 1pm to 6pm if im not mistaken.. furthermore not all that we invite will datang...

 

 

@ Bro 4th_espada,

 

Mind sharing what is the breakdown of the $14,000??

 

Ok but take note that i did a one day event, nikah in the morning and afternoon is the waleemah/feast and sanding..most other would do a two day as in nikah on sat then sun naik pelamin/sanding..

 

ok this part must ask my wife also coz she my finance manager (it sucks to say tt but female are gd with tt, sometimes).. but as far as i can remember:

 

Cameraman = 1000+/- (coz its my friends company with 4 cameraman usually max is 2 but since im a friend, hehe, more coverage)

8 Dishes with dessert/Deco/Pelamin/Kompang/Card invites = 8000+/- (Atira wedding package for 1000 guest)

Baju, 2 sets, for nikah and tunang = 1500 nett

 

the rest will be like rental of mph space/water/electric, kadi, pre marriage course, some admin registration fee, Mas Kahwin and some gifts...

 

The hantaran is use for all these beforehand and on the nikah day i just give a cheque tt states the amount, tts all unlike some who would separate the hantaran then on top of tt pay for what i have stated above which comes up to about more than 20k.

 

So take note aje la and maybe you can roughly gauge what you need for the wedding and what not..If u want the cameraman or cant find any competitive ones, let me know, maybe i can help u to get in contact with them...he's my good werk colleague..

[4th_Espada]

Emm good topic.. Economy also picking up..

 

Time to see more couples tie the knot..

Sometimes i wonder how is it after married.. Is it more easier cos income of a couple combined or is it harder..

 

Hahaha, not really economy la brother...its hard to say easier or harder la but for me its 50/50..its easier coz in terms of ugama, u have safeguarded sth but this oso comes with knowledge la and effort, harder can be in terms of macam there's a string attached to u, just a halus punye...like i use to hang out with my bike friends up til subuh timing now cant tt often la and u will feel changes...but at the end of it when ur at hm with ur spouse u will know tt u did the right thing...just dun let the setan get to u..

[crazydj]

I feel that the best scenario is to have a really small wedding and save the money.

 

Then i kenna bombard by my mum, "Then what will other people think? Shotgun ah?"

 

I find that simple, small wedding the best. The money saved can be used to open up a business or something. Oh well.

 

I think the combined wedding is a good idea. Save money. But you know, the mak cik will all say you got no money or shotgun or cheapskate etc.

 

My sis got married last year and when i looking into the accounts, headache man. Your caterer, your venue, vehicle and baju rental etc. You can see the money literally grow legs and run away from you sia.

[4th_Espada]

I feel that the best scenario is to have a really small wedding and save the money.

 

Then i kenna bombard by my mum, "Then what will other people think? Shotgun ah?"

 

I find that simple, small wedding the best. The money saved can be used to open up a business or something. Oh well.

 

I think the combined wedding is a good idea. Save money. But you know, the mak cik will all say you got no money or shotgun or cheapskate etc.

 

My sis got married last year and when i looking into the accounts, headache man. Your caterer, your venue, vehicle and baju rental etc. You can see the money literally grow legs and run away from you sia.

 

 

haha..i kanna tt one too..#$!@#$% feeling..but somehow a frend told me tt this wedding is urs not ur parent's no matter what of course respect them too and if what ur doing is in accordance to the teaching and ruling be assured that The Big Man is the All-Knowing.. Not to preach la but it makes sense in every aspect of life .. got a frend of mine also said to me, 'wah u budget ah wedding, might as well dun get married 1st', so i replied, 'then u give me money la'. Not everyone's wedding can be the same its what u want at the end of tt whole thing tt matters..

 

Money earn of coz have to spend mah tts y bought my dream bike to safeguard my own interest b4 get married..next thing i know kenna silent treatment..which i know will only last for like 2 to 3 days..hehe:cheeky:

[crazydj]

My mum was saying that if have a small cheap wedding then where to put my parents face haha. She has a valid point ah. People will talk. And i also feel that if have a small wedding, people will confirm talk bad, make assumptions and jump to conclusions etc. You know ah, people are like that, especially the older generation.

 

I think a way to view this is that, have a decent wedding, so that people will not say much about, hence, resulting in them making less sins. So in other words, the people doing the planning must get a bigger picture.

 

Small Wedding

--------------

-People complain, make assumptions= more sinful

 

Decent Wedding

--------------

-Less people complain, make less assumptions=less sinful

-Families get "good deed points" by doing so--> I dunno how to say in english.

 

I have ever imagined a scenario where a family spends so much on a wedding till the extent that the running of the household is problematic. I never really heard of this in person though, but i am sure it happens.

 

I find this situation sticky anyway. Wanna save money, but parents want you to spend more. Its their face. In laws also want you to spend more, because its their daughter who is gonna get married to that "cheapskate" and how it will look on them. Difficult sia like this. Haha. You have to balance political, social, religious and economical factors when getting married. For me, i just care about the religious and economical factors.

 

EDIT: A good point to note is that when your friend said don't get married first. I always tell my friends this, "Its better you get married rather than korang buat maksiat!" Haha.

[4th_Espada]

very sticky indeed..but then again, if they want to talk let them be..its their sin not us..we did not lead them to think tt way as our intention is good... hate this kind of ppl actually but no worries, have adapted to as long as i know what i do is righteous behaviour for some time already..

 

we dont answer for them in the hereafter nor do they do for us..those who talks are the typical malay ppl who got nth better to do then reserving their seat in the fire....i never believe in such thing as give face if what we do is not against the rulings...sometimes parents even my own mom actually will take advantage of her position as a mom but there is a limit to it if u know well enuf...not to be rude but to rebel for the right reason according to the rulings.

 

yup my frend said sth like kan bagus dah kahwin elakkan maksiat and rapatkan siratul rahim..

 

but its ur call la in the end bro...

Edited August 19, 2010 by 4th_Espada

[Yatz86]

aiseh farish...when can i expect an invitation card hehe....

 

anybody can advice on how the "procedure" and cost like for cross-cultural marriage....muslim with non-muslim...

[4th_Espada]

aiseh farish...when can i expect an invitation card hehe....

 

anybody can advice on how the "procedure" and cost like for cross-cultural marriage....muslim with non-muslim...

 

Procedure??? apa ini..ok..if ur a muslim and the to be is not, she has to convert, u can check out with muis on this or darul akram i think at geylang area..

 

to be have to convert:

 

needs 2 witnesses to proclaim the shahadath.

IF possible, introduce him/her to the religion, teachings, rulings etc and ensure she understands, grabs hold of it dearly and adhere to it.. Insyallah things will go smoothly..just make sure she converts bcoz she believes and not only for love so in future no complication will come between the both of u.. tts what a close frend of mine went thru..

 

but if not converting, im not sure man...anyone can help???

[farish]

appreciate all the inouts. Keep them coming

[thrasher]

Cham bro. So when? lol

 

yazid... aku belom tunang... kau da.. so... you first!! but... i'm planning once i get a new job ar... just tunang simple mimple. send ring over. da...

[farish]

aiseh farish...when can i expect an invitation card hehe....

 

anybody can advice on how the "procedure" and cost like for cross-cultural marriage....muslim with non-muslim...

 

Bro if wedding, masih lama, 2012..hehe..thats why now planning. If tunang probably april 2011

[crazydj]

Never convert cannot la. The nikah tak sah. The kadi confirm won't wanna do... Haha.

 

But if ROM can ah. Lol.