<D> Funny I.T. Jokes and Stories

[redbeacon]

Ship all 50 of em to me please!

 

Submitted anonymously to an I.T. forum, this fella works in a company as an I.T. personnel, in which they use a lot of CMOS batteries from Dell. You know, those tablet-sized clock batteries that maintain the clock on the computers...

 

To save time and money, his department asked for fifty spare batteries instead of having them delivered individually.

Dell, the contracted company which supplies them computer equipment, was happy to oblige, by sending the batteries over like this:

 

http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/3010/packagingmadnessgf8.th.jpg

(click image to enlarge for a closer view)

 

That's one giant box with fifty small boxes inside; each with one small, neatly-packed CMOS battery

Edited July 15, 2010 by redbeacon

[kmax]

interface hall of shame..

 

http://hallofshame.gp.co.at/shame.htm

 

kinda out date but still good laughing stock..

[redbeacon]

interface hall of shame..

 

http://hallofshame.gp.co.at/shame.htm

 

kinda out date but still good laughing stock..

This is good.

I practice good design layout and user interface friendliness everytime I design websites or create user interfaces for applications.

Edited July 15, 2010 by redbeacon

[redbeacon]

The printer on 7th floor isn't a colour printer!

 

Simon, an IT Helpdesk personnel in a firm, sent in this interesting account whilst on his job:

 

"I can't print colour documents anymore," a trouble ticket from a manager on floor seven read, "the first six copies came out fine, but the rest are in black and white. I need 50 color copies."

 

Printer issues were among the most common, so I walked him through the standard steps: making sure he could connect to the printer, verifying his queue was empty, checking the printer settings, etc. Everything seemed to be on par, so I sent a quick test page to the printer on the 7th floor and headed up stairs.

 

Just as I was about to grab the sheet off the printer, it dawned on me: that wasn't a color printer. In fact, there weren't any color printers on the seventh floor at all. I walked over to the manager's office to verify that he had, in fact, sent his print jobs to the printer on the 7th floor.

 

He said that he did, and I asked if I could see the six color copies he managed to produce. I looked at the printouts on his desk and informed him that, if he wants

fifty copies in yellow

, he has to make sure that he loads not six, but fifty sheets of yellow coloured paper into the printer.

 

Simon has saved the day.

[redbeacon]

Diary of I.T. Helpdesk:

Computer won't boot. PC has bugs. The other kind...

 

4/7/2008 13:22 GMT;BEN;

 

Checked power connections and power to outlet. Monitor is on but not

computer. Checked power button on computer's power supply, user states

there is not one. Re-seated power connections, computer turned on for

about 3 seconds and turned off. Details:

 

Machine Name - MXL643843

User ID - (withheld)

Display Name - B, Steph

OS Name - Windows XP

Service Pack - Service Pack 2

 

4/7/2008 14:09 GMT; MA;

User called for a status because her supervisor wants her to head to the office if it will be more than an hour ; user will bring the computer in with her if she has to go into the office

 

4/7/2008 15:11 GMT; ROB J;

contaced Stephanie and she had just finished carrying her pc downstairs and loaded it into her car. Since it is already loaded she will go ahead and take it into the Plano Parkway office and I will contact her when she gets there. I am also contacting Jorge A, 2nd hat, to alert him that she will be coming over to him with the said PC

 

4/7/2008 16:22 GMT; ROB J;

Jorge is picking up her pc and will connect it for testing

 

4/7/2008 18:21 GMT; ROB J;

Jorge in Plano reported that this pc is packed full of cockroaches so bad that they took the pc outside, did not even wwant it in the building, and took the hard drive out. He will copy the users data over to a share and i will copy the data to the hot swap pc which they want to give the user as her new pc. They are going to bag and seal the other pc and scrap it, as they do not want it in the building.

 

4/7/2008 19:14 GMT; JORGE H;

cleaned pc. Yikes! connected HD to our secondary PC, assisted in transferring data. Had customer test pc.

 

4/7/2008 20:34 GMT; JORGE H;

I would like to publicly thank Terry for helping me clean out and exterminate all (I hope) the roaches from this computer, which has been quarantined in an air-tied bag. NOTE: I hope never to see anything like this ever again, however from now on I will be more careful when opening computers!

[redbeacon]

Oops, time to renew your Norton subscription.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4zK1YC6XCs&feature=player_embedded

 

Pesky things

Edited July 15, 2010 by redbeacon

[jB]

The printer on 7th floor isn't a colour printer!

 

Simon, an IT Helpdesk personnel in a firm, sent in this interesting account whilst on his job:

"I can't print colour documents anymore," a trouble ticket from a manager on floor seven read, "the first six copies came out fine, but the rest are in black and white. I need 50 color copies."

 

Printer issues were among the most common, so I walked him through the standard steps: making sure he could connect to the printer, verifying his queue was empty, checking the printer settings, etc. Everything seemed to be on par, so I sent a quick test page to the printer on the 7th floor and headed up stairs.

 

Just as I was about to grab the sheet off the printer, it dawned on me: that wasn't a color printer. In fact, there weren't any color printers on the seventh floor at all. I walked over to the manager's office to verify that he had, in fact, sent his print jobs to the printer on the 7th floor.

 

He said that he did, and I asked if I could see the six color copies he managed to produce. I looked at the printouts on his desk and informed him that, if he wants

fifty copies in yellow

, he has to make sure that he loads not six, but fifty sheets of yellow coloured paper into the printer.

Simon has saved the day.

thats a nice one

[redbeacon]

I'm sure you can withstand the heat...

Silly employee switches off the air-conditioning

 

Not too long ago, there was a small public excitement in the local media about a major disaster at The State's Technology Services Division. The details were a bit incomplete – mostly because The State was "unable to comment on an ongoing investigation". What what was reported however was that, for two full days, employees of The State were unable to logon to their computers or access email, and that this caused business within The State to grind to a halt.

 

The State refers to one of the big government offices of one of the provinces of America. Big indeed that we are going to censure the province.

 

As the "investigation" carried on, the media lost interest in the story and moved on to more newsworthy stories like who Paris Hilton was partying with last weekend.

 

Fortunately, a certain employee of The State named J.N. works in the Technology Services Division and decided to share what really was behind those fateful days.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

When employees of The State came in to work following a three day weekend, they found their workstations overloaded with "cannot logon" and their Outlook email client complained of some "Exchange communication" error messages.

 

The IT Network Services folks had it even worse: the server room was a sweltering 109° Fahrenheit (42°C) and filled with computer servers that are dead or are about to die soon from electronic overheat.

 

At first, everyone had assumed that the Primary Air-conditioner, the Secondary Air-conditioner, and the Tertiary Air-conditioner had all managed to fail at once. But after flipping their switches off and then on, all of them began operating and brought the room back to a cool 64°F (17°C). At the time, the "why did this happen" question wasn’t so important -- the network administrators had the most important task to figure out how to bring online the four Exchange (?) email servers, six Domain Controllers, a few Sun servers, and the entire State Tax Commission's server farm. Yes, the State Tax were involved in this equipment failure.

 

The rest of the servers not mentioned here did not come back to life upon a restart.

 

They worked day and night to order new equipment, build new servers, and restore everything from back-up. Countless overtime hours and nearly 200-thousand-dollars in equipment costs later, they managed to bring everything back online.

 

The best part was, when the Exchange email servers were brought online and data restored to them, one of them began to send out an email that wasn't sent out properly when the mass server catastrophe occurred.

 

The e-mail was address to all of us in the IT department, and it read like this:

 

From:

[

an assistant to a state diplomat

]

To:

IT Department

Subject:

Re: A/C constantly running.

 

 

 

To whom it may concern,

 

 

 

I came in today (Monday) to finish up a project I was working on before our big meeting with the State ----- Commission tomorrow, and I noticed that there were three or four large air conditioners running the entire time I was here.

 

Since it's a three day weekend, no one is around, why do we need to have the A/C running 24/7?

 

With all the power that all those big computers in that room use, I doubt it is really eco-friendly to run those big units at the same time. And all computers have cooling fans anyway, so why put the A/C for the building in that room?

 

I got the access pass to to your Server Room from [the facility manager’s] desk and shut off the A/C units. I'm sure you guys can withstand the heat for a little while, maybe an hour or two when you come in tomorrow morning.

 

In the future, let's try to be a little more conscientious of our energy usage!

 

 

Thanks,

 

----------------------------

 

 

 

As for the employee who sent it, he decided to take an early retirement.

.

.

.

.

.

Edited July 15, 2010 by redbeacon

[redbeacon]

Dilbert takes on lousy Technical Support to fix his email woes in his home:

 

Edited September 6, 2010 by redbeacon
Fixed video link to make it compatible with the new SBF forum technology