Wedding.....

[Lass]

seen lots of elaborated wedding customaries and dinners gone up in divorce.....

[redhotchilli]

dinner or not doesn't really matters to me... wats important is whether the couple is going to commit their whole life together as a family... its easily being said, but the real thing, have to forgive and forget abt each other mistakes, understand each other differences and accepting them and one last thing, tats to do all those boring housework together or at least someone has to do it.... hahaa .

[jojobitch]

Originally posted by ViciousKitty74@Oct 2 2005, 07:28 PM

I still can remember my sister's wedding dinner.

 

Its frankly a waste of time, food and money.

 

All just because my mother is vain.

 

Not because my mother demanded it. but also because my sister wanted to at least have done something which I didn't provide for my own marriage.

 

Siblings rivarly as well as face at stake for them.

 

I couldnt care less. And frankly, I am not particular with it cos I've attended as well as help out at enough weddings to know that certains particular issues are only important to people who have never experienced them.

 

I cried a bit at my sister's wedding dinner, not because of how I missed my sister or any lovely crap.

 

I cried because I was screamed off for not listening to my sister's instruction to rush upstairs to the hotel room to 'plan and be instructed' as to what to do as an usher.

 

Machiam like her friends know better to instruct and order me around as to who are our relatives to be seated at what locations???????

 

Anyway, all these sibling rivarly thingy had better be working out to some advantage. If my sister dared to demand a divorce with her very obliging hubby....she will lose face to me. So lets hope this keep her marriage going better then mine.

Wow... you sure sounds like a jealous sister no ?

 

As for me, I'd love to have a wedding bash.. to honor my parents and have a party for my friends .. and ofcourse myself.... it's call celebration !!!!

And hey.. what better way to introduce the new couples to the rest of the family ??

Booze anyone ????

 

So... you did not have a wedding party for yourself ? How so ? Why start off the marriage on such stingy note ?

 

Wedding don't have to be extravagant yo .. just plenty of FUN FUN FUN ! As long as you are happy who cares what others say.. cheap or not cheap. high class or low class ho ho ho.....afterall ... we're the one paying for it wat ?

[Guest ViciousKitty74]

Originally posted by jojobitch@Oct 3 2005, 12:08 AM

Wow... you sure sounds like a jealous sister no ?

 

As for me, I'd love to have a wedding bash.. to honor my parents and have a party for my friends .. and ofcourse myself.... it's call celebration !!!!

And hey.. what better way to introduce the new couples to the rest of the family ??

Booze anyone ????

 

So... you did not have a wedding party for yourself ? How so ? Why start off the marriage on such stingy note ?

 

Wedding don't have to be extravagant yo .. just plenty of FUN FUN FUN ! As long as you are happy who cares what others say.. cheap or not cheap. high class or low class ho ho ho.....afterall ... we're the one paying for it wat ?

 

Lol....no lah...i was not jealous. (did i sound jealous?)

 

i just find the reason for holding it quite ridiculous compared to practicality. Its like they are doing it so that they can be viewed a step up from normal single folks......

 

And erm no.....i never believed in going thru unnecessary hassle just for face sake. But you are right. Whats important that you have fun.

 

i had fun with my own marriage ceremony. it was a simple affair, with the most important part done at the ROM. (it was much more fun spending money shopping with my hub at australia though....we brought backs lots of stuffs for our family members. I think i only brought back a cowboy hat for myself. )

 

And yah.......booze and BBQ food at a chalet later. Enough for everyone to sit, relax, play mahjong and crashed out easily at the chalets.

 

Imagine attending a major dress up dinner at some posh hotel, not allow to drink becos the bride doesnt want her hubby to be drunk. and imagine the bride crying in frustration becos the flowers was not the colour she wanted.

 

And then hearing that the couple spilt over one month over some silly differences with each other. And imagine the embraressment to seeing the couple, 6 months later, going out with each other different partners instead of their legally married couple.....its kinda sad.

[Guest ViciousKitty74]

Talk about celebration bash.

 

How about we come up more ideas for a cheap, fun wedding?

 

I liked how Lim Yu Beng and Tan Keng Hua did their seaside wedding some years ago.

 

And a friend does away with studio photography to focus more on capturing the essense of her wedding day, the pics of children running around, candid shots of her friends and family members looking on as she was dressed up. And even shots of her friends in various stages of undress or dressing up.

 

One even videotaped the bargaining of the grooms angbao to the 'ah yees'

 

the best part is, during the dinner, the bargaining was manifested into loud volume at the dinner where everyone got to hear the bargaining! machiam like fish mongers bargaining to sell the bride!

[comics00]

think i mention b4 in other thread dont think of the whole wedding thing it just for urself. btw it is never abt 2 person. sharing the ur other 1/2's life also means sharing her/his family, relatives, friends, colleagues, dog, toothpaste ect ect.

i had the wedidng dinner 'cos my mum insisted & after the dinner i was glad i did hold the dinner. wedding is a great occassion for relatives & friends to gather, party & enjoy. at the same time the couple also received all the good will & blessing from the elders, trust me, it is not something u can buy. i will always remember all the smile & laughter, especially from the elders, it really warm our hearts

[jojobitch]

Let's see....

We celebrate Chinese New Year.. Hari Raya.. Deepavali.. which occurs every year.

Oh and not forgetting our birthdays..

So , why not celebrate your union with your chosen spouse, doesn't happen that often anyway no ?? For some it's a once a lifetime, for some it's a few times a lifetime.. still it doesn't happen every year wat ?

 

In my humble opinion...

The wedding celebration should be tailored to the invidividual couple.

It's also a great event to gather all the relatives and friends to have a good time.

 

And yes, we should also celebrate divorce too.. have a party bash for finally able to toss out the garbage in your life no ?

[comics00]

Originally posted by jojobitch@Oct 3 2005, 03:51 AM

And yes, we should also celebrate divorce too.. have a party bash for finally able to toss out the garbage in your life no ?

positive thinking

[Guest ViciousKitty74]

Originally posted by jojobitch@Oct 3 2005, 03:51 AM

In my humble opinion...

The wedding celebration should be tailored to the invidividual couple.

It's also a great event to gather all the relatives and friends to have a good time.

True true....

 

In some cases, its good for a small do.

 

And some cases.....it hellavu hassle to gather feuding relatives (they dont smile......they growled at each other and exchange ugly words that mar the happy smiles of the rest of the relatives.)

 

its even worse when any of them got drunk and throw the cutleries at each other. some overturn tables.

[Guest ViciousKitty74]

Originally posted by comics00@Oct 3 2005, 03:56 AM

positive thinking

errr.....does burning the ex spouse clothes in those incence paper burning bin counts?

[jojobitch]

Originally posted by comics00@Oct 3 2005, 03:45 AM

think i mention b4 in other thread dont think of the whole wedding thing it just for urself. btw it is never abt 2 person. sharing the ur other 1/2's life also means sharing her/his family, relatives, friends, colleagues, dog, toothpaste ect ect.

i had the wedidng dinner 'cos my mum insisted & after the dinner i was glad i did hold the dinner. wedding is a great occassion for relatives & friends to gather, party & enjoy. at the same time the couple also received all the good will & blessing from the elders, trust me, it is not something u can buy. i will always remember all the smile & laughter, especially from the elders, it really warm our hearts

Hey man,

I totally agree with your post.

 

I'd also want my children to have a wedding dinner too.

Even if it's not their first marriage.. I'd still want the partner of my children to show that they are proud to marry my kids.

 

And hell no, I wouldn't want to know their spouse is so chinsy trying to save a few thousand bucks......

[comics00]

Originally posted by ViciousKitty74@Oct 3 2005, 03:59 AM

errr.....does burning the ex spouse clothes in those incence paper burning bin counts?

OMG

[Guest ViciousKitty74]

But what if it was your child that does not want to spend thousands of dollars for a wedding which they are not willing to afford?

 

Would it help by forcing the spouse to do so, and in doing so, you ruin the relationship of your child's spouse and yourself?

 

Would it be harder for your child since your child is stuck between the wishes for you and his/her spouse?

[jojobitch]

Originally posted by ViciousKitty74@Oct 3 2005, 03:59 AM

errr.....does burning the ex spouse clothes in those incence paper burning bin counts?

Well there you go ...... just toss in some satay stick and hotdogs and grill some otak while the fires are burning hot.. grab some beer and have some friends come over for a cool celebration !

[Guest ViciousKitty74]

Originally posted by jojobitch@Oct 3 2005, 04:07 AM

Well there you go ...... just toss in some satay stick and hotdogs and grill some otak while the fires are burning hot.. grab some beer and have some friends come over for a cool celebration !

[jojobitch]

Originally posted by ViciousKitty74@Oct 3 2005, 04:05 AM

But what if it was your child that does not want to spend thousands of dollars for a wedding which they are not willing to afford?

 

Would it help by forcing the spouse to do so, and in doing so, you ruin the relationship of your child's spouse and yourself?

 

Would it be harder for your child since your child is stuck between the wishes for you and his/her spouse?

I won't force them to have a wedding party that I as a parent cannot afford.

If I have to pay from my own pocket.. it will be a gift to my child.

 

But as a parent, I would be worried about my child's happiness and stability of the marriage itself.

 

Anyhooo... if they cannot even afford a simple wedding dinner.. then I think financially they are not ready for married life and offsprings either.

 

As we all know.. many marriages breaksdown due to financial reasons... perhaps it more of an insight to their future no ??

[comics00]

Originally posted by jojobitch@Oct 3 2005, 04:14 AM

I won't force them to have a wedding party that I as a parent cannot afford.

If I have to pay from my own pocket.. it will be a gift to my child.

 

But as a parent, I would be worried about my child's happiness and stability of the marriage itself.

 

Anyhooo... if they cannot even afford a simple wedding dinner.. then I think financially they are not ready for married life and offsprings either.

 

As we all know.. many marriages breaksdown due to financial reasons... perhaps it more of an insight to their future no ??

agree with u. think the youngster when cannot even afford a few thousand will give themselves excuses that wedding is a waste of $$ & think that just go ROM then live together can liao

[jojobitch]

Originally posted by ViciousKitty74@Oct 3 2005, 03:58 AM

True true....

 

In some cases, its good for a small do.

 

And some cases.....it hellavu hassle to gather feuding relatives (they dont smile......they growled at each other and exchange ugly words that mar the happy smiles of the rest of the relatives.)

 

its even worse when any of them got drunk and throw the cutleries at each other. some overturn tables.

Some like it big.. some like it small.. some like it grand.. some like it casual..some like it traditional.. some like it unconventional.. it's all personal preferences....

 

Memorable events are ones that is frought with unforseen circumstances... when life is too smooth sailing.. it becomes predictable and boring....

 

sh*t happens... just go with the flow...nothing is perfect.. especially your spouse....

[Guest ViciousKitty74]

Originally posted by jojobitch@Oct 3 2005, 04:14 AM

Anyhooo... if they cannot even afford a simple wedding dinner.. then I think financially they are not ready for married life and offsprings either.

 

As we all know.. many marriages breaksdown due to financial reasons... perhaps it more of an insight to their future no ??

there there......it might not be that they cannot afford the wedding dinner itself.

 

maybe its because they rather spare the trouble and goes on honeymoon or saving for a rainy days or to buy you as a parent a more suitable gifts for bringing them up?

 

Maybe a fully paid holiday for you and your spouse to go on a long holiday to celebrate their union as well as yours?

 

or even a set of wheels for you to drive around and ferry your grandchildren around to and fro schools?

[n00b]

i think the dinner is actually for the parents..as it is them who wld norm want to hav it..to invite reletives and friends...on the other hand...our own invites will be very less

[mctan]

I had just married last week.

What I find that, wedding.......need ton of $$$$$$$...

ROM last year, it cost around 2k.. for lunch, flower, ring. photographer etc.

Wedding.... last friday.. cost 28k, banquent dinner, buffets during tea ceremony xiaodi, jiemei angbao etc...

Bridal package and bridal shop, cost 4.5k.

 

 

 

 

:nono:

[haryann]

My humble opinion,

 

If the 2 parties are agreeable to whateva decision the couple makes, or, if the couple are agreeable to whateva decision their 2 parents makes, then by all means, go ahead with the wedding dinner/custom/rom/tea party etc etc.

 

Everybody involve here must be mature enough to make decisions. Alot of the decision I noticed are mostly based on impulse, wanting to look good, wanting to be above everyone else, what society will say, being vain etc etc. It doesn't matter how rich you are, if the decision are based on mostly whateva is said above, then the marriage will be in trouble.

 

I don't believe in the theory that if the couple cannot fork out a few thousand bucks for a simple wedding dinner, then they're not ready for marriage. Does that mean that marriages are only for the well off? No. I think poor ppl have the right to get married as well. Most important is they must be mature enough for family life!

[Jess1717]

A must for me a condition from my parents.

I have a simple wedding due to $ constraint, no studio photo shoots and no wedding banquet.

Took pix at Botanic Garden on the day of customary, have simple buffet lunch reception below the void deck of my in-law's condo.

At nite have diner buffet at the same place but with the help of a good flower arranger, she deco the whole place and the garden beautifully and the ambience was turns out great and very cozy, everyone enjoyed the whole event.

 

Luckily overall expenses can be covered back by ang-pao.

 

Well, have a wonderful wedding all thanks to my jia-mei with their help and co-ordination and those who have helped me. But very importantly the acceptance of both side parents no need to have banquet.

 

Morale of the story : Do have a serious talk with with both side parents if $ constraint. Of coz anyone would want a glamorous and grand wedding but not necessary must spend alot of $ to have a grand one. Just spend abit of time, sourcing for good caterer, good flower decorator and most importantly good jia-mei to help co-ordinate the whole event. Things could turn out just as great!

 

[Guest ViciousKitty74]

Originally posted by mctan@Oct 3 2005, 11:29 AM

I had just married last week.

What I find that, wedding.......need ton of $$$$$$$...

ROM last year, it cost around 2k.. for lunch, flower, ring. photographer etc.

Wedding.... last friday.. cost 28k, banquent dinner, buffets during tea ceremony xiaodi, jiemei angbao etc...

Bridal package and bridal shop, cost 4.5k.

 

 

 

 

:nono:

Did any of the parents help fork out some sums?

 

And did the angbao money goes to them?

[mctan]

AngBaos for groom's side and friends all for paying the banquents and the bride's side, her parents keep.