On behalf of Marcus... Thank you...

[SuNfoWeR]

To all dearest bikers,

Rachel here... Marcus's wife...

It's been a really long time since I've stepped into SBF... & today, SuNf|oWeR is back again.. only w/o flowers. I've loved this nick of mine as I was named by Marc.

 

I would like to sincerely thank those who came down to visit Marc 1 last time during the wake. I'm sure he's v happy to see all of you coming 2gthr again. Frens fr the heart, trackers & EVEN those who nvr got d chance to noe him... I'm v grateful & deeply touched.. Knowing tt he has so many frens who loved him & STILL love him now. I feel so comforted.. Really couldn't ask for mre..

 

It's been the 8th day since his passing, yet another Sunday... I cld still rmbr vividly my fears, panic, confusion & the heart breaks all @ once as if it jus happened 2dy. It's been a huge roller coaster ride for everyone... It's too sudden... I still can't accept the fact tt he is gone...

 

I kept askin y he had to go? Y didn't he hold on? Y didn't he wait for me? But to imagine d amt of pain he was going tru... it really pains mi too... (even whn i squeeze a tiny pimple on his face, he wld run arnd screaming & hiding) & den I tell myslf 2 let him go... He's in a better place nw, where he'll feel pain no mre...

 

Marc has been d greatest support in my life these yrs & I noe I can find NO better man like him... There were frens who hd spent time shopping wz him, makan & chit-chat sessions, mahjong sessions or even frens who shared d same passion on d tracks. But none has seen d deeper side of him tt we've shared... The sweet, caring, loving, cheeky & ever so manja boy tt I love... Tts wat I used 2 call him all d time, my boy boy...

 

My life has chgd alot ever since I've been with him... The way I see life... The way I live my life... He's taught me so many things... Tt life is not fair.. There's sme tings I can't control but to live wz it... See tings in a broader perspective... & find out eventually it's nt as bad as we tink it is...

 

In tis case, I can't ctrl his fate, n 2 learn 2 live w/o him in my life... But in this accident, I've learned to love him EVEN more althou he's gone. & his passing wld hf taught everyone a lil life lesson...

 

Thru these yrs, he has nvr said d 3 "magical" words, 'I Love You', to me at all... & neither does he believe in saying those words... But it's d actions he shows & every lil tings he did 4 mi, tt ald tells hw much I'm loved by him... & it made mi love him back d same wy too...

 

My msg to all, 'Dont just tell hw much u luv some1... If u really do... show it out, care for them, treasure them... You'll nvr noe when d last dy wld b...'

 

I've heard many wonderful rmarks fr everyone. Marc was d friendly, cheerful, up-beat, polite, nvr-gif-up spirit, etc... & wz every compliment, wonderful memories start flowing back & I totally agree... He's got his signature smile tt I'll never forget...

 

He's mentioned to me b4, 'If one dy I die, I wish 2 die riding on a bike & nt turning old & sickly..'

He has achieved what he wanted. In fact, he has achieved many other tings & lived his life to d fullest...

 

Althou each time whn he hits dwn d tracks, my heart wld b filled wz worries but knowg tt tis was his ULTIMATE passion, I still constantly supported him 2 work harder. Helpg him to set up his bike, timing him, giving him lil suggestions whn he needs adv, encouraging him whn he doesn't do well & I saw results in him! As his wife, I feel so proud of my boy boy!

 

I've been readg d forum 4 d past few dys & wz so many comments flying arnd, I tink it's my turn 2 express a lil sth..

 

1) It is HIGH time tt Johor Circuit does sth 2 achieve higher standards.. A safer environment, improve d circuit, setup appropriate management team in every dept (esp medic) & educate impt safety requirements.

Whn we asked d managemnt wat exactly happened, they cld nt ans... & jus replied, 'I don't know... whn it happened I wasn't arnd.. I was in d office...!' Racing is a dangerous sport & all safety precautions SHLD b taken into action!

Yes! All these may incur higher cost to both PG & d riders but 2 compare one's life & cost???? Which wld u weigh heavier??? I'm pretty sure everyone wld udrstd its $$ well spent & besides if tracking is TRULY in their blood, I'm sure noting can stop them! I noe Marc cld nvr b stopped, even if I were 2 hang balls n chains on him!!

 

2) As for d Gixxer rider, I'm sorry but I can't 4gif you yet... I noe I shld learn 2 let go but as 4 nw, my pain is still.... it's unbearable nt havin my husband wz mi nimre... As much as I wan 2 4gif & 4get but I can't... I cant do it like NoLogicOne... It IS v tiring 2 b angry & sad all d time but I just can't accept your explanations...

You chkd WAT..??!! You chkd ur rear..?? To nsure no one was behind u?? It may take jus a few secs 2 turn ur head & pull off a stunt... but it ALSO tkes a few secs 4 a racer 2 appear behind u!! Whch track were u racing on for God's sake?! Does urs time in hours??

I noe it feels gd to show off 1's skills but why did u do it on d LEFT?? Wat were u tinkg?? I dun ride track, in fact I dun ride at all & yet jus watchin MotoGP I learnt tt it was such a ridiculous mistake of urs...!

 

Apparently, whn u appeared 4 d wake, I hd 2 run errands smewhere else... I askd myslf wat I wld do 2 u if I ever c u...? Noting.. It wont bring my husband back nimre but I'm jus nt ready 2 4gif either... I'm sorry.. But plucking up d courage 2 come dwn & apologize was no easy feat... & 4 tis, I respect u... I jus hpe u learn these mistakes & spread words 2 every1 u noe, u cre, 2 ride safe...

 

Multiple times I've heard conversations of Marc wf his frens.. & v often, I wld hear him comment, 'Safety First!'... In fact, he was d safest rider I've known.

 

On d last dy of Marc's wake, a bike convoy was arranged 4 him. As every biker started lining up, I cldn't hlp but start worrying.. Worried if any rider wld get 2 eager 2 catch up wz 1 anthr, wantg 2 send Marc off so badly tt an accident shld occur... I felt it was necc of mi 2 step out & convey Marc's msg 2 everyone, 'Ride safe... Let's send Marc off 2gthr... Ride safe..' I noe he wld nt wan 2 c anthr fellow rider gettg hurt whn sendg him off. & as d sound of all bikes coming 2gthr, It was d most BEAUTIFUL & SWEETEST sound I've ever heard.. I'm sure he heard it too...

 

Fr here, I wld like 2 tell all fellow bikers...

Pursue ur passion, live your life 2 d fullest & achieve your goals! Just like Marc did! He rode all d wy... 2 d end of his journey & left w/o regrets...

 

To cagiva03, whn I 1st read u wantd 2 gif up track... I was really upset. Marc was nvr a quitter... but reading on, knowg u will pursue, Marc & I will b so happy 4 u!

Relight d fire again, do wat u luv best! Ride wz him in ur heart! Hw u guys wld usually encourage each other! Ride like u noe he's still SPURRING u on! SPARRING wz u! FEEL HIM... He's wz u, on d tracks too... Having u 2 lead d bike convoy, I cldn't ask 4 mre...

 

The impressions I've had on bikers.... Everyone takes care of everyone... There's ALWAYS a strong bond, a deep connection wz each other & I personally feel tt too. I urge strongly 4 every bikers hlp, 2 pass Marcus's msg arnd... 'SAFETY FIRST'. Constantly remind each other, frens or strangers.. hlp each other out. Educate d younger generation, pass dwn d knowledge u hf... Share d stories of Marcus's passion.

 

& whn d nxt time u decide 2 head dwn PG 2 ride again... Spend a lil time 2 tink of him, rmbr him, feel him... He's there... watching u guys & cheering u on...

 

Once again, I wld like 2 thank each & every1 of you, who has loved Marcus & given our family all d support. Thank you 2 Sean & co. who were there 4 Marc whn he passed away... At least he was nt alone... Thank you 2 all for honouring him wz a Ducati logo! It means alot to me & my family... I'm extremely proud 2 call him my boy boy... my beloved husband... & d luv of my life...

 

 

(To Marc: True Love... Is when I know.. I can live with you & I cannot live without you.. Thats True Love.. & I miss you so much....)

 

[natgw]

stay strong.

[DeusExMachina]

Stay strong Rache, your friends will always be a phonecall away.

[SuNfoWeR]

Thanks... U & Bel hf been great!

 

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[WeN-Di.aka.ktmger]

*hugs* you're the strongest gal i've ever seen... marc will be very proud of u too..

[Lass]

brought a tear to my eye...v touching....

 

Rachael, I do not know the both of you but certainly wish you better soon. Thanks for the encouragement for the rest of the riders.

[SuNfoWeR]

*hugs* you're the strongest gal i've ever seen... marc will be very proud of u too..

 

Thanks... I'll try to hold on every single day.. believing tt he's watching out on everyone of us... I'll see him again 1 day...

 

http://www.singaporebikes.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=48008&d=1198993193

[SuNfoWeR]

brought a tear to my eye...v touching....

 

Rachael, I do not know the both of you but certainly wish you better soon. Thanks for the encouragement for the rest of the riders.

 

No problem... keep your dreams alive!

Believe in urslf & u'll achieve it.. Jus like Marc did.

 

http://www.singaporebikes.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=48008&d=1198993193

[house]

u're remarkable.. take comfort in the fact that he's in a better place watching over his family, u, and all his friends.

[SuNfoWeR]

u're remarkable.. take comfort in the fact that he's in a better place watching over his family, u, and all his friends.

 

Thanks.. I did... I dreamt of him ydy... in a better place.. wz loads of waterfalls & bubble baths... happy & free!

I just cldn't reach him tts all...

 

http://www.singaporebikes.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=48008&d=1198993193

[house]

Thanks.. I did... I dreamt of him ydy... in a better place.. wz loads of waterfalls & bubble baths... happy & free!

I just cldn't reach him tts all...

 

nice.. at least he can take a swim and play with bubbles while waiting for u there! keep him occupied u see.

[WeN-Di.aka.ktmger]

Thanks... I'll try to hold on every single day.. believing tt he's watching out on everyone of us... I'll see him again 1 day...

 

He's definitely in heaven watching over everyone..

[Wildcat]

You're a very brave gal......to encourage all the riders here despite what has happened. Many people will be quick to tell others not to ride or track any more.

 

I'm sure Flowers will want you to grieve for him, but also to live on and not let the shadow of his death cloud it. Be strong; really wish you all the best. Live on with your life, with no regrets; just as Marcus did, coz nothing eases the sorrow of his loss better than knowing that he was doing what he loved the best; and he was where he wanted to be. He was blessed in that he had your understanding in whatever he did.

[axn85]

stay strong... after reading wat u have written... i was brought to tears... although i dunnoe him personalli... friends of mine always mention about him...

it gave a very very good impression of him...

 

 

we have lost a very good rider. and a close friend.

 

HOPE PPLE WHO DOEN TO PG CAN HAVE A MINTUE OF SLIENCE BEFORE U START... IN MEMORY OF HIM...

[kirkjay]

"He's mentioned to me b4, 'If one dy I die, I wish 2 die riding on a bike & nt turning old & sickly..'

He has achieved what he wanted. In fact, he has achieved many other tings & lived his life to d fullest..."

 

I've read your post over and over again. This is wat not many people would even thinks of, but i feel it is the most important phrase he will ever say and you will ever agree on.

 

In my eyes, he has left behind an immortal legacy. Take care of yourself Rachel.

[R6uddin66]

Your write up really moved me to tears.

 

As a wife of of a passionate road/track rider myself, I too would never dream of restraining my husband from riding on track but I will sleep better at night knowing that there's a cohesive effort on both PG and riders to emphasize on SAFETY FIRST.

 

Take care of yourself Rachel, keep him close to your heart.

 

Regards, Mrs Ruddin.

[GuiNNeSS]

we feel for u, stay strong, life goes on.

[Stardust83]

After I read the post,I could feel the saddness in me.Although I do not know both of you,I hope u can stay strong in the days to come.

 

And to all the riders out there,Ride Safe !

[army_ncc]

u r a strong gal.. nd marcus will be proud of u.. although i dunno abt both of u, but e moment i read abt e incident on newspaper, i feel very upset. if u lyk e nick of ures, u shld not sae w/o flower.. becose it is name by marcus, nd u shld love it till e end of ure life.. nd if i were to go pg one dae, i will hav a min of silent as to rmb him..

 

stay strong, sunflower..

[06apr06]

Thanks Rachael for the encouragement.He will nt be forgotten for sure.Feel for you bt stay STRONG always..Really brings the passion of riding in me.Ride Safe fellow riders~

[BlackDawn]

DEFINITELY the most touching post I have read in SBF since my joining more than 3 years ago.

 

I do not know you nor Marcus personally, but SuNf|oWeR, you have my utmost respect & admiration. Few can demonstrate the strength that you have shown here.

 

Look at the sun everyday, feel the warmth and know that Marcus is watching out for you. That's probably why he gave you that nick, cos he's the sunshine of your life.

 

Be strong... I'll say a prayer for you tonight.

[Cougar_22]

A remarkable, strong and brave gal....my fullest respects to both, you and your dear hubby (though I do not know him)....and my deepest condolences to you and family...*sad*

 

Move on....as Marcus will always be with you till the end...yeah

[SuNfoWeR]

Thanks for all d encouragement.. It has definitely made mi feel much stronger..

A few mins ago, Marc's mom & I were still hugging & crying in each others arms... & it felt gd too..

 

To R6uddin66: I undrstd hw u feel & I wish tt PG will make a difference real soon. It has caused my husband's life.. & I tink tt is enof...

Treasure your husband, show him hw much u love him everyday, not just wz words.. They really dun mean a ting..

 

& to everyone... After mitg up wz ur frens, b4 bidding farewell, tell them to Ride / Drive safe... Remind them...

Tts wat Marc & I wld usually say after a gathering wz our beloved frens... & I'll cont doing so... holding him close in my heart..

 

http://www.singaporebikes.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=48008&d=1198993193

[AH_PEK_LAH]

take care of ur health

[PuteraBrothers]

SAFETY FIRST......I will remember this